So Okay… I’m no expert when it comes to sex, but yes I am a female and yes I do LOVE sex.
There seems to be this taboo of men wanting sex more than women, men always want it etc.
Er, well I haven’t really had much of that? What do I mean? Well, to be fair most of the time it was always me initiating sex, trying to spice it up and make it even better than what it already was; and I know I’m not the only woman. A few of my friends say exactly the same.
What makes good sex? Passion, confidence and a physical connection. If you don’t have any of these, 9 out of 10 times you won’t find it half as enjoyable as if you were in a relationship with someone or actually had feelings for eachother. It doesn’t matter who you are, what you look like, what size you are as long as you are confident enough to show off and make the best of what you have you should find the connection with whoever you’re with much more exciting and enjoyable.
How to have sex? Well there isn’t a particular way you should or shouldn’t. Obviously any way you have sex entails in the male genitalia inserting into the female genitalia; that shouldn’t take a rocket scientist to work out. You do it how you both like it! Don’t be afraid to try new things and experiment, after all how do you know what you’re going to like if you don’t try it…
I personally find foreplay is a MUST. Whether you want to just do the ‘basics’ or experiment with some toys, for a woman especially it’s not very often she will ‘orgasm’ through sex alone…and No there is nothing wrong with you as a man, it’s just the way the shoe fits. ‘If ya get me’.
So some of you have an idea what ‘Foreplay’ is, but is it just a stereotype you have in your head?
Foreplay is not something that has rules to what you have to do, what order in which you have to do it…it’s purely a way of pleasuring each other in ways in which you can’t through sex.
I guess most of you wouldn’t class all this as foreplay- music, wine, take-away, bubble bath, candles, hours of kissing, stroking, rubbing and fondling each other on the sofa.
Some times it could be sharing a saucy secret over dinner (‘Did I ever tell you how much it turns me on when you rub your nipples in the bath’). It could also be giving a gift which makes you both blush.
It is the build up to SEX it may be over a few minutes, hours or days.
Oh and a little alone time , one on one with yourself, your hand or a few toys is always a good thing. We all do it! Don’t be so shy.
– Oral sex (BLOW JOB/LICKING HER OUT) this is contact from mouth to genitals, which not everyone likes to do; and if you don’t there is nothing wrong with you. It’s also not something in which if the man licks his woman out he should expect to receive a blow job, like some sort of reward.The same as presents really (‘You don’t give to receive’).
* Relaxation (Relaxing bubble bath, candles, body massage from your partner).
* Connection (Dirty talk, Body language, Sweet somethings).
* Seduction (Teasing, Undressing each other, Adornment, Kissing).
There are so many ways you can make sex better, more enjoyable and remember not everyone likes the same thing. So what your ex partner might of loved, your current partner may hate… be sure to ask if they like it, if theres something you could do different. Theres nothing wrong with a bit of constructive criticism especially when it’s building up to a big explosion.
You may not get it right the first, second or third time.. there is no right way it’s just as long as it’s enjoyable, pleasurable and sometimes fun!
My personal opinions are– Be open minded, use toys, spend time building up to sex, plenty of foreplay, make it passionate, use plenty of lube, don’t expect things, change positions until you find one best for the pair of you, tell the other person what they are doing right and what they need to improve on. This has to be an enjoyable experience.
Anyway this is in no way a professional blog, just a few things I feel. I will move on to more in depth details in my next blog.
Oh…and always make sure you’re protected! Not just from pregnancy but from STI’S.
Use a condom.
Bye for now. Go have fun 😉